I've been busy...er...reading. ;)

I would like to mark the triumphant return to my blog with this bit of inspiration... the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy!!

Wait...what?  What's that ya say?  Not everyone is now in love with Christian Grey?  Not everyone has read the novels three times a piece?  Not everyone hates Anastasia Steele?  Not everyone is spending more "time" *wink wink* with their significant other as a result?

Huh... I don't get it.

Now, let me just say this-- at the risk of offending the author, E L James, I understand that it's not a Pulitzer prize-winning piece of writing.  I had to state this fact because I know there might be someone saying, "Well, it just isn't a very well-written novel.  It's very simple, not very complex.".  Well, quite frankly, I'm extremely glad it's simple.  I'm really glad it gets straight to the point...quickly...and A LOT. 

I'm going to address the elephant in the blog-- there's lots of tyin', cuffin', whippin', smackin', beatin' and all-around sexin' goin' on.  And being an independent, healthy woman & wife in her 30's, I will state very clearly that I really enjoyed all of it.  And, in all honesty, that's the reason I bought the first book... was to read about all the hanky spanky.  But the reason I continued reading the books was because there's a pretty good relationship story.  I found myself actually rooting for Anastasia & Christian as a couple.  I still am... ;)

I will say this-- in my opinion, there's some cheesy sexual dialogue written in these novels.  Especially for Christian...which really just breaks my heart.  The dirty girl in me wishes that he would've been a little more... how shall I say this delicately... DIRTY!!  Say the "f" word, dude!  Don't be scared, just say the naughty words!  Ahem...sorry.  Got a little carried away with that.  But you know what I'm talkin' 'bout, ladies!  Right??  But, sometimes, you just can't go wrong with "Do you want to play?"  Sigh...

Which one is my favorite?  Probably Fifty Shades Darker...yep, definitely Darker.  It shows them breaking up (albeit for only 5 days..!!), it shows them getting back together.  It shows what Christian's willing to do to keep Anastasia.  It shows a building storyline of suspense that kinda surprised me.  Well, only kinda surprised me... but it was still interesting & insightful for Christian's character.  Oh, and did I mention that Darker has a scene that involves a pool table & a ruler?  Wow... ;)  By the way, be sure to catch the deliciously insightful sections at the end of Fifty Shades Freed.  Double Wow... ;)


Are these novels supposed to be the literary pillars of our time?  No.  Are they meant to challenge the most highly-educated & sophisticated members of our society?  Maybe, maybe not.  But you've gotta admit-- 20 million copies sold is impressive.  That means they're popular...that means someone is really enjoying them.

And that really includes me... really enjoying them... really!!

Laters, baby.  ;)

Automated phone choices...

How many of you have a job that has an automated phone system?  You know the kind I'm talking about-- "Thank you for calling such-n-such company.  Press "1" for customer service..." etc., etc.

Our office just got hooked up with this modern marvel.  It truly is a time-saver...as well as a not-go-completely-crazy-at-work-and-have-a-meatball-breakdown ...saver.  Whew!  Ahem...sorry about that.

Now, onto the reason for this blog.  Anyone who is now reading this is about to find out how utterly sarcastic & kinda sorta downright cynical I can be at times.  I will briefly defend my upcoming list by saying that anyone who has ever had a job working with the public in any capacity...ANY capacity...will relate to this.  That is all.

These are the phone choices for the public at large trying to call my office...on a bad day.  OK, maybe not-- this list is only for enjoyment (and satisfaction) purposes.  But they are in my head quite often!  Enjoy, my occasionally cynical lovelies!  ;)

**Press one if you have absolutely no clue why you're calling and are completely unprepared.  We will be sure to hang up on you right away.

**Press two if you don't have a billing question-- but you'd rather just complain about how your payment has increased by $5.00-- over a six month period.  Click... *dialtone*

**Press three if you'd like to ask us why your coverage has canceled.  Oh, you haven't paid your bill??  In four months??  Well, I'll save you some time...THAT'S WHY YOUR COVERAGE CANCELED!!  Click... (yep) *dialtone*

**Press four if you'd like to set up an appointment at 1:00pm, then not show up for the scheduled appointment until 4:55pm.  Or just press four then press one if you're just gonna pop in unannounced and spend two hours getting information.  We'll be sure to lock the door & hide under our desks.

**Press five for our office directory.  Oh, wait, let me forward you to their voicemail... they're not going to answer at the moment.  Not because they are on another line or away from their desks, but because... THEY JUST DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW!!

Aaahhhhhh...that felt good!  ;)

A quick Christmas laugh...

Christmas Time:  We're getting to the point where everyone is getting their last-minute gifts & trying to figure out how to pack visiting ALL of your family into a 3-4 day period.  Let's face it, we need a break already!

Let's kick back...relax...and have a few Christmas-time laughs, shall we??  Here are clips from some of my favorite funny Christmas movies.  Enjoy! ;)

(3) Four Christmases

If you have lots of running to do for the holidays, you've been tempted to take tropical trips every year at Christmas time--just like our heroes from this movie.  BUT--this year they got caught--they have to spend time with their families.  And so, let the funny begin!  This clip below is one of my favs from this movie.  ;)

(2) Scrooged

Bill Murray... 'nuff said.  This is such a great twist on a Christmas classic.  There are just too many funny moments in this movie to pick one...so I found a great compilation. ;)

(1) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

C'mon!  Could there be any other #1 than this??  I become one continuous laugh box while watching this movie.  There really are way too many great moments-- but I have to say my favorite is the arrival of Eddie.  Need I say more?  ;)

This is supposed to be a time of year for celebration!  To celebrate the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.  What a wonderful time of year!  Along with the reflection that this time of year brings-- let's not forget one of the great gifts that God has given us-- LAUGHTER!!

Merry Christmas Everyone!  Travel safely, enjoy your families, and don't forget to share a few good laughs!  ;)

I'm not a scared-y cat! Honest!

I love this time of year!  The temperature is gradually falling...as are the beautifully colored leaves.  And tomorrow our children will be going trick or treating in their carefully thought out costumes.  I can't wait to hear "Trick or Treat!" over...and over...and over... ;)



And, as all of you know, it is also the time of year for every scary movie ever made to play on all of the applicable stations.  AMC, Spike TV, G4, Sci-fi channel... you know who you are.  It's also time for all of the new scary movies to rear their ugly heads in the theaters.  Everything from gory, bloody, slasher films to the psychological thrillers that have movie-goers jumping in their seats.

And yes...I am a seat jumper.

Over the years there have been many scary movie series.  The easy ones to think of are the Friday the 13th & Halloween series (which are now almost totally cheesy, right?).  Some of the more recent options are the Scream & I Know What You Did Last Summer series.  I loved the idea & story behind the original Scream movie-- applying rules to making a scary movie.  How many times have we all shouted at the movie screen "Why the hell is she going in there??  She's a goner...".

Well, I can advise everyone that the movie series that scares the living jamonies out of me is Paranormal Activity.  Holy crap...I mean seriously turn-my-skin-white-jump-right-out-of-my-shoes scared!

I remember watching the first movie, under a lot of personal duress.  I waited a long time to watch it because I get truly freaked out by any kind of well-made, weird psychological thriller.  And, as I had predicted, I was traumatized for weeks afterward.  I was "hearing" things making noise in the house at all hours of the night.  Little shadows & dark figures were turning into a living, breathing bad thing that was after me.  I know, I know... It seems so asinine.  But it's true!

I'm also convinced that it was after watching that movie that I became the scared-y cat that I am today.  Just ask my friends & family... they take deep pleasure in sneaking up behind me & watching me scream like I've just been nailed with a Taser gun.  It's really hilarious, I'm sure...

Now, technically speaking, since I've seen all three P.A. movies, I think the 2nd one is the best in the series.  The first movie was a good starting point-- but the second movie messed with one of the things that I love the most-- children.  I was soooo mad at this demon for wanting to hurt that baby!!  But, anyway, I really loved how they tied the two movies together.  Even though the little baby boy was taken!!!  Humph...

I was really interested to see how the writers would tie the girl's childhood into the crazy mix.  Even though I enjoyed the movie overall, it left me still wondering a little bit.  And maybe that was the movie maker's intention, but I was really hoping to have a lot more of the loose ends tied up.   Or are they just setting up P.A. 4...??

Am I a scared-y cat?  Yep, you betcha!  I'm proud of the person that I've become... and that includes the crazy, quirky parts! 

                                                               
                                                                 Happy Halloween!!  ;) 

Po ten tial puh-ten-shuhl, adjective, (1) possible, as opposed to actual. (2) capable of being or becoming.

I can't imagine any human being out there in this wide world that hasn't thought about what their ultimate talent might be-- what they're capable of-- their potential.  I've thought about it quite a bit lately.  What are my God-given gifts?  What was I put on this earth to do?  What is my potential?

I'm picturing a three year old boy wearing a superhero's cape & running around the house.  This little boy thinks he can fly...that he can save the world...and that he can capture the bad guys because he has super-strength!  Nothing can stop him because he is...SuperKid!  Then he hears his mother call from the kitchen, "Stop running around the house!  Take that cape off & go wash up for supper!".  "Aw, Mom!"  His shoulders droop & he stomps up to his room to carefully hang up his cape.  SuperKid is brought back down to earth...but he still believes he can fly.

Do we all still have our capes hanging in our room?  Do we all have a voice in our head telling us to bring it back down to earth?  It's time to clean up for supper?

Well, I've washed my hands.  And I've eaten my supper.  And I've taken my plate to the sink-- washed it, put it away.  I've done this for years & years-- and my cape has been hanging in my room, collecting dust my whole life.  Until now...

I've lived the life that has been expected of me-- I'm happily married with two beautiful daughters.  We have a nice, cozy home & we have steady jobs.  Sounds great, right?  It does sound great, actually...and it IS great.  But I've always known that I had the potential (there's that word again...) to be so much more.  I have so much more to give than just the everyday, mundane tasks that I perform on a daily basis.  I need to stick my neck out & take some risks.  I need to find my potential...

I plan on continuing this life.  I'll love my family, take care of my daughters & laugh with my friends.  I'm still going to thank God everyday for what I have.  But I'm also going to ask Him for the strength & courage to take the risks needed to reach the potential that He sees in me-- that He knows I'm capable of becoming.

What's my potential?  I'm not sure... but I'm willing to take some chances-- some good, healthy risks to find out.  It'll take some heavy-duty praying, and I'll probably fail a couple of times.  But I'm willing to try... and I'm ready to fly!

Now, if you'll excuse me-- I have a cape I need to dust off.  ;) 

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

Upon hearing the news that Star Trek II will begin pre-production soon, I read about five blog entries to get myself up to date on the progress.  I had to make sure the original cast was returning-- I had to find out who the possibilities were for the villain.  I just had to...

In the last few weeks, I've also been reading about the Star Wars series blu-ray release (with the ridiculous dialog additions...).  Since we don't have a blu-ray (yet!), we'll have to wait for the DVD release of the set.  Oh well, I'm a fairly patient person.  Sigh...

So, these co-ordinated releases of information (because one series cannot be out-done by the other) begs the ancient question:  Which is better?  Star Trek or Star Wars?

Hello, my name is Diana, and I am a sci-fi junkie.  Hello, Diana!

If you want to answer an important question, look to your past.  I have two specific memories that are very clear from my childhood about watching the original Star Trek series & watching Star Wars IV, V & VI...specifically Return of the Jedi.

I would visit with my Dad on weekends & we would do all sorts of things together-- fishing, playing catch.  I even made my very own chair out of the wood scraps from a beautiful Adirondack chair that he constructed.  My chair barely held my body weight...and I think I was about 8 or 9 at the time! 

But when all of that stuff was done, and we just wanted to hang out in the front room & watch T.V., we had our favorites.  Dukes of Hazard, a couple of cool cartoons on Saturday mornings (Scooby Doo & Captain Caveman), and...wait for it...Star Trek!  Dad always said he thought the way that William Shatner played Captain Kirk was hilarious-- and he loved Spock, of course!  But I think he really loved the way Dr. McCoy (Bones to the rest of us) busted Spock's balls all the time.  He was so curmudgeon-y...always in a bad mood.  I'm pretty sure that's when my love of Star Trek started.

My love of Star Trek was reignited when Next Generation began.  I literally fell in love with that show...just ask my husband!  We had a framed poster of all the characters from the show hanging in our first apartment!  There was something about the chemistry of the cast-- Captain Picard, Riker, Data <3.  Out of all the Star Trek series that followed, Next Generation is still my favorite & holds a special place in my heart.  Love it!

As for Star Wars, well... I don't know or remember if we ever went to see Star Wars or Empire Strikes Back at the theaters.  But I remember vividly going with my family to see Return of the Jedi.  It's probably why it's my favorite episode (well... it might be a very close second to Revenge of the Sith). 

Star Wars has the classic Good vs. Evil scenario.  Jedi are good, Sith are evil.  Everyone has their favorite characters, right?  Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca, Yoda...the list goes on and on.  My personal favorite is Darth Vader (and for fellow sci-fi nerds, that may explain why my favorite episodes are III & VI). 

Episode III (Revenge of the Sith) shows how/why Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader-- and being the mushy slub of a romantic that I am, I can see why.  He was willing to do anything to save his wife & child(ren).  Unfortunately, he had too much anger inside his soul...and he let his anger consume everything...including his identity.

But, as we all know (I hope), Anakin Skywalker was "the chosen one".  He was predicted to be the one to bring peace & alliance.  While he did take a huge u-turn in Revenge of the Sith, he was ultimately the one to destroy the Emperor & bring peace to the galaxy.  And so, he fulfilled his destiny.  Good stuff...

So, what's the answer?  Who will prevail in the age-old battle between the two most beloved & character-driven sci-fi stories in history?

Here's my answer...

They both kick ass!! ;)



What were you doing on 9/11/2001?

I was running out of the door towards my car thinking, "Oh crap...if I'm late for work again, I'm definitely going to get the "talking to".  What made it a little better is that we lived in Perrysburg at the time-- and only 10 minutes away from my office.  Just get to my car & hit the gas!

I turned on the radio-- expecting to hear some music & light-hearted banter to go with my anxiety of being late...again!  Instead I heard about a plane colliding with one of the World Trade Center buildings in New York.  "Holy cow!"  I thought, "That pilot must have been completely drunk & out of it to hit a huge building like that!  What a fool...that idiot just caused hundreds of lives to be lost."  And that was the end of it-- of course, until I got to work.

I was just a few minutes late (not too shabby...) getting to work.  As I was walking up to the front door, I noticed my co-workers huddled by the radio, listening very intently.  "Oh great,"  I thought, "I'm gonna get nailed for being late.  What a crap-tastic day this is beginning to be...".  I walked in & went straight to my desk not saying a word.  My co-worker asked me if I had heard what happened in New York.  I told her that I'd heard a plane crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers-- probably a drunk pilot.  She then stated that there was another plane... it crashed into the other tower a few moments ago, just before you walked in.  Everyone is saying that it's a terrorist attack.

What?!?  That's impossible.  Who would be stupid enough to attach America?  I mentally dismissed the idea of terrorism right away.  That made no sense whatsoever.  It wasn't until I heard about a 3rd plane crashing into the Pentagon that I began to realize that I was wrong...terribly wrong. 

Discussions started at work as to why all of this was happening, and we all started calling our family & friends.  We were hearing heart-breaking reports of people not being able to get in contact with loved ones that worked at the Twin Towers.  And of people succumbing to the smoke & heat in the buildings.  Imagine having only two options for escape-- to turn & run into a wall of intense flames & try to make a run for it, or get to an open window only to remember that you are hundreds of feet in the air & if you jumped, the fall would kill you.  I remember later watching video of the towers burning & noticing "debris" falling from the plane entry points.  The realization that it wasn't "debris" that was falling sucked the life breath right out of me.  It hurts my heart & haunts me to this day.

In the meantime, another plane had reportedly crashed in Pennsylvania in an open field.  The story of Flight 93 is a story of bravery & sacrifice that is beyond any re-telling that I might attempt.  All it took was just a moment of courage and strength (straight from God Himself) and those brave souls saved countless innocent people.  It's an amazing example of how God works through the human spirit.

I had a different kind of anxiety while I drove back home.  I drove a little slower, and made sure that I arrived home safely.  I walked into my house & found my husband glued to the T.V. getting all of the updates on the attacks.  As soon as I saw his face, it was then that I finally broke down & cried & cried & cried.  I hugged him as long & as hard as I could.  I hugged him for all of the wives that couldn't hug their husbands anymore, and I hugged him for all of the brave first responders that may have responded for the last time, and I hugged him for all of the children that would never know their parent due to an evil, senseless act of brutality.

Today is definitely a day of memorial.  A humbling reminder that thousands of innocent citizens were killed in an outrageous act of war.

The way that I have chosen to fight this war is to live my life to the fullest.  The single reason for a "terrorist attack" is to cause terror.   Don't be afraid--live boldly!  Thank you Lord for allowing us to be free!!  Don't forget to hug your family & wave your flag!  Honor your country & the fallen by living with purpose!  God Bless America!!!